Game Review: Wise and Otherwise

Another game that gets your creative juices going is Wise and Otherwise, a game of proverbs. This game harkens back to the days of ancient sayings passed down through the ages from mother to son and from villager to villager. Or possibly they were just made up by the people who wrote the game. The world will never know…

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The World's Most Complicated Drink

This is me in Sorrento, Italy. I’m enjoying something to eat and drinking a whiskey sour. I’m on my honeymoon. Life is good. What led up to this moment, however, was just bizarre.

We had taken the train from Naples to Pompeii, then after looking around Pompeii had taken the train to Sorrento. We walked down the long, winding road to get to the water’s edge and...

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3:30am boredom fixers: Nestlé Crunch Hotline

If you can’t sleep and you’re looking for some inane entertainment, why not call the Nestlé Crunch Hotline? Believe it or not, there is much silly fun to be had. Here’s what to do:

1. Dial this toll-free number: 1-800-295-0051
2. Listen to the options for English and Spanish without choosing one, then
3. WAIT through several seconds of silence.

A new set of options will be provided… if you don’t want me to spoil the fun, go do it now....

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A Juggling Romance--How Dan and Katherine Met (smaller video)

This is the video that played (partially*) before the ceremony at our wedding (though I did add some stuff later, since I had some time).

Dan and I met in 2004 at a juggling festival in Buffalo, NY. This is a retelling of that story, with some…err…artistic liberties taken. And fancy special effects. Very fancy.

Special thanks to Jack and Jeri Kalvan, Michael Karas, and the Flying Karamazov Brothers: Mark Ettinger, Rod Kimball,...

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A Juggling Romance--How Dan and Katherine Met (full-sized video)

This is the video that played (partially*) before the ceremony at our wedding (though I did add some stuff later, since I had some time).

Dan and I met in 2004 at a juggling festival in Buffalo, NY. This is a retelling of that story, with some…err…artistic liberties taken. And fancy special effects. Very fancy.

Special thanks to Jack and Jeri Kalvan, Michael Karas, and the Flying Karamazov Brothers: Mark Ettinger, Rod Kimball,...

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What is up with fortune cookies, Part II

This is a followup to my previous article, What is up with fortune cookies these days? which I wrote after friends and I received some very strange “fortunes” in our fortune cookies.

Well, it’s happened again. Different restaurant. Three of these are just weird. One of those three is just stupid. Then the fourth one is just made of 100% pure awesome, and it was, appropriately, the one in my cookie.

The first weird one...

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Calling all Tellers of Tall Tales!

NOTE: THIS EVENT HAS PASSED. THIS ARTICLE IS HERE FOR ARCHIVAL PURPOSES ONLY.

I’m putting together a video that will be played at our wedding (May 24, 2009), and one of the things I want to have is a bunch of people telling stories of how they “allegedly” heard we met. We want these to be as wacky as possible, and I know that...

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What is up with fortune cookies these days?

When I was growing up, I seem to recall that fortune cookies contained things like “you will meet a tall, handsome stranger” or cute little “Confucius say…” type phrases. These days it seems like they’re…um…different?

We ordered Chinese delivered tonight and each of us got a cookie. Here is what our “fortunes” were:

“You have a sincere desire to improve”
This one actually works well with the “-in bed” suffix, so it gets my approval.

“Lucky you....

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Fuzzball kitten savages a 130lb golden retriever

Exceedingly cute video of my 10 week old kitten beating up on my 10 year old, 130lb golden retriever. Smackdown ’08.

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Clinton Campain + Bubblewrap!!!

I was contacted yesterday by a representative of Hillary Clinton’s campaign team asking if they could license my Virtual Bubblewrap for use in her newest online campaign ads. We haven’t worked anything out for sure yet, we’re still in the talking phase. Some of the ideas we’ve discussed are replacing the “random noise” bubbles’ sounds with sound bites from Hillary’s political speeches, or having the background be a picture of Hillary once all the...

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Movie Review: Hogfather (2006)

I wanted this to be better than it was. I love the Terry Pratchett Discworld novels and was really excited when my TiVo picked this up shortly before Christmas…

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In which I defend a position nobody has ever actually challenged me on...

Laundry is a pretty dull task, and so one’s mind does tend to wander in the course of doing it.* For some inexplicable reason, my mind tends to wander into the more esoteric nooks and crannies of the fascinating topic of…um…doing the laundry. I could be daydreaming about movie stars or sex or thinking of something useful like planning dinner or trying to remember how to do statistics problems… but more often I think about...

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Another Installment of Absurdist Mail Theater

Incredible! I have in my hands another piece of the most ludicrous mail I’ve ever received. Yet again, sent by hopped-up religious zealots. Now, I have nothing against Christians in general, but these goofy fringe loonies just get to me. I can’t take them seriously. This one came in an envelope all marked up in silliness, just like the other one did. The best part was on the back:

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This Mail Can't Be Real?!

Ok, I get a lot of junk mail, and I throw most of it away. Every now and then, however, something really stands out. Sometimes it looks inviting. Sometimes it looks cool. And then sometimes it looks so unbelievably stupid and scary, you just have to open it. That was the case today when I checked the mail. Seems some slightly over-caffeinated Christians decided to send out some really weird shit. What caught my eye...

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NASA Hid PROOF of Extra-terrestrial Life

I was first drawn to examine NASA photographs taken on the moon when I saw the photographic proof* on Seethruart’s pursuasive webpage. When he showed proof that the NASA astronauts were stepping on tiny alien shuttles, and proof that there were tiny flying crafts hiding in the rocks (see closeup!!) I knew he was onto something. These were not ordinary “rocks and dirt” that NASA had been leading...

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The Candy Corn Incident

I’m not sure how old I was, but I can’t have been older than about 8 or 9. It was near Halloween and my mom, or maybe Sonia, had given me a bag of candy corn. At the time this was one of my favorite candies.

I had been given the absurd limitation of two pieces per day. Considering how tiny these are, and that most people eat them by the fistful, it was nearly...

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Hummus: DotCom Overboard?

I think that the trend of companies and products opening websites is wonderful. I am so much more likely to look up information on the web than I am to call an 800 number or (god forbid) actually GO somewhere. I also like to shop online when I can. It fills my heart with joy when I see a TV commercial flash a web address on the screen.

But then there are some things that...

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Terms of Endearment: The Evolution of Nicknames

When my ex-husband and I were dating we were obscenely sweet and cutsie.

We had the typical nicknames for each other at first…“sweetie” being predomenant.

Somehow we ended up applying the suffix -opotamus (as in hippo…) to words. Namely, “sweetapotomus” instead of “sweetie”. (Naturally “hippo” must be a type of “potamus”, right?) Any descriptive word could be used (and sometimes twisted) into the suffix. For example, if I was cooking, I was a “fixopotamus of...

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Photos of Tucson

Here are some pictures I’ve been meaning to take for years, but every time I go back, I forget. Well this time I remembered! And so without further ado, I present some of the odd sights of Tucson, Arizona (and the surrounding area).

the only good thing about Arizona

Um… what are they DOING?!?

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LOL? the Long Ongoing List

The standard chat environment abbreviation “LOL” is commonly thought to mean “Laugh(ing) Out Loud,” but how do we that is what it means? Just because someone tells us so? Might there be another, secret, meaning? Let’s examine the (viewer submitted) possibilities….

Humorous note: back in the day when this page was updated automatically by viewer submission, some brilliant soul Left this: “U r so stuped it means Laugh Out Loud” Ah… the irony.

1. Loads...

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The Maxipad Incident

I was in 8th grade, living with my dad in Florida. This was the year they invented maxipads with “wings” but earlier in the year. As those of you who have used the “pre-wing” pads know, the old ones leaked. No matter what. The first drop of blood to touch them would almost always make a beeline for one or both sides and make a break for freedom.

And so I would always wrap toilet paper...

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The Future Free Citizens of the World

As my bid for world domination draws ever closer to fruition, I am now allowing people to pledge their allegiance and become Free Citizens. (Those who aren’t citizens when I do take over will not be able to make use of the many benefits of citizenship, and might possibly be enlisted as slave labor.)

Becoming a...

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Scottish Highlands Rabbit

I took this picture in the Scottish Highlands, and when I went back to look at it, I couldn’t remember what I was taking a picture of. Can you spot the rabbit?

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Snake Oil

It amazes me what people will advertise and what people will buy… check these out, from a catalog I got in the mail:

Adult Bib	Oxygen—just add water!
This guy so does not want to be in this ad.. just look at his face! (I realize these are for people with disabilities, but the ad makes them appear to be marketed at regular 30-something...

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Top Ten ways to tell your neighbor is a mafia hit man

10 — You see his kid regularly receive large amounts of cash from the ice cream man.

9 — Those mysterious late night “drives around the block”.

8 — Wears a flak jacket to church.

7 — He always lets the neighbor kids start his car in the morning.

6 — Bears absolutely no resemblance to most of his “relatives”.

5 — His kids wear “My daddy went to Chicago to whack Louie ‘the weasel’, and all he brought...

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Top Ten ways to know your ice cream man is selling drugs

10 — You buy a RocketPop and inside you get a disposable syringe where the stick should be.

9 — Your transaction is briefly interrupted as he has to take a moment to inject adrenaline straight into the heart of an overdosing junkie.

8 — Only drives through the neigborhood at 3am.

7 — He uses a razor blade and hand mirror to cut the ice-cream sandwiches into portions.

6 — The Lik-M-Aid? That ain’t Lik-M-Aid.

5 — Ice cream...

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